Tuition costs

Well, I paid some more towards my tuition today. $50 to be exact. Losing is getting kind of old, but as I was talking late this afternoon to the guy who sits next to me, he said "get used to it." He has been there since October. He said he didn't have a clue for his first two months. He started doing better his third month. I know he has had a couple of $1000 days while I have been there, but today he finished down the same as me ... $50. I don't know if he has become profitable yet or if he is still paying back for months of fees, etc. He seems to be well on his way though, so I am going to try to keep learning from him.

I got to try out my new ticker today. My very first trade with it, I made $90. I thought ... Wow, this is going to be easy. Every trade from it after that was a loser. I think I am on to something but I need to refine my entry criteria. The only way I can do that is to come home in the evenings and run back tests on the day's data and modify the parameters. However, in order to do this, I need the market data, and I ran into a bit of a roadblock with that today.

One thing I am really bummed out about is the fact that I am now considered a "Professional" by brokerages I have accounts with. Let me tell you ... this sucks! What this means is I now have to pay professional fees for market data if I want to do any back testing or personal trading on my own time. What is the cost difference you might ask?
Non-Professional: $10/month
Professional: $200/month
So, I closed my account with one broker this evening. I may have to do the same with another one tomorrow. I have to say this is the first real negative of the whole job switch. I wish someone would have mentioned this before hand ... one of those hidden little details.

I don't know what I am going to do yet, but I am not paying $200/month for the same data I was getting for $10/month. A bunch of crap if you ask me. Now if I was making money regularly, I could see it, but I am starving here .... cut me some slack. Stupid SEC rules!

Travelling to Atlanta for volleyball tomorrow and Friday, so I will be taking a break from trading, but not from reading. I am still going to be reading, researching, and learning as much as I can while on the trip. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I will be back on Monday to begin Week #5. Man ... time is flying!

The Dog or the Hydrant?

Monday, I was definitely the hydrant.

A quick recap of events starting Sunday evening:
5:00pm - Start Volleyball practice
6:00pm - Team struggles to finish a drill due to lack of focus
6:30pm - Team is starting to frustrate me
6:35pm - Team starts running horses
6:50pm - Best player arguably on team goes down with a knee injury. Could be lost for the year. We travel to Atlanta to play in very important tournament this weekend. Bad!
7:30pm - Arrive back home. Wife leaves to go watch Grey's Anatomy over at friend's house.
8:00pm - Start to read book "Mechanical Trading Systems" (very good book by the way)
10:00pm - Become very tired and fall asleep
11:50pm - Hear phone beep. Message from wife. She will be home later. Bad!
12:30am - Decide to read again because I can't fall back asleep.
1:30am - Fall asleep
1:50am - Wife returns home and wakes me up.
2:30am - Get up to watch TV because can't fall asleep.
3:00am - Get on computer to read about the market. Take a Tylenol PM to knock me out.
3:30am - Still not tired. But upset and depressed I can't fall asleep
3:45am - Go to Gold's Gym and run on eliptical machine for 45 minutes
4:45am - return home still not tired (even from the Tylenol PM)
5:00am - wake wife up and make her talk to me for the next hour and a half
6:30am - Get ready for work
7:15am - Leave for work and just now starting to feel the effects from the Tylenol PM.
8:00am - Get to work and want to lay down and go to sleep. I force myself to stay awake and at least try to trade for the morning.
9:30am - Markets have been open for an hour and I have zero winning trades. I am down $75. I want to go back home and sleep, but hang around for lunch. It's Jason's Deli.
11:30am - Eat lunch
12:30pm - Leave for the day after making two more non-winning trades. Down a total of $90.
1:15pm - Come home and go to sleep

I don't know what it was about not being able to fall asleep, but it sucked! I know I was concerned about the girl on the volleyball team. I was hoping she was OK. I was excited about work, but something else was keeping me up. I have no idea what it was, but it had to have been something in my sub-conscience. Anyway, I felt like the "hydrant" all day long and couldn't wait to come home and actually sleep.

Needless to say, I got plenty of sleep last night, and had a good day of trading today. I traded nearly 5000 shares and was only down $20. I would have been up had I not been stupid and tried to make some trades after the FOMC announcement this afternoon. Stupid. I got killed. Was up $40 before that.

Good news. My trigger was finally built, so tomorrow I will see just how good my observations are. This trigger will point out stocks that fit my technical criteria for trading. I think this will either help me tremendously or send me back to the drawing boards. I will let you know tomorrow.

Week 3 summary

I know ... I never got back to posting the other day. (Geez, I can't even remember what day it was when I posted last). Let me just sum up the last three days in general.

On Wednesday, I ended the day up about $20 or so.
On Thursday, I ended the day down around $30.
On Friday, I ended the day up $30.

Each day I am starting to trade a little more which is good. My coach said it wasn't too bad either that I ended two days this week up a little. However, I am never suppose to be looking at my trading results. I need to keep looking at the charts and make sure I am entering and exiting at good points and then, whatever happens, I should be satisfied. I think I am doing that for the most part. However, I am getting "jabbed" out of certain postions at times because the stock either breaks resistance or support, so I have to exit.

So, after 3 weeks on my new job, here are a couple of random things I am noticing:
1. I am, overall, a much happier person. It really is a challenge trying to figure the market out, but I love it, and I think I am getting a little bit better at it every day. I come home, and I am not upset with other people. I only have myself to depend on, but everyone there is really helpful and they want to see others succeed. The environment, although stressful, breeds comraderie and pride, and I like that!

2. I am spending a lot more money on gas. The round trip is twice the distance it was to my previous workplace. I knew this, but really didn't want to come to terms with it I suppose. I hope gas doesn't go to $3/gallon this summer, but just in case, I am hedging myself by purchasing the equivalent of 6 months worth of gas in oil and refinery stocks. Either way, I will be paying the same price for gas or less come six months from now.

3. I haven't been able to work out regularly and my body doesn't like it. My normal workout time for the past 5 years had been 5:45am to 7am. Since I am now having to leave for work every morning by 7:20, this workout time simply doesn't work anymore. I tried to go at 5am, but by early afternoon, I was dead. I suppose I can continue to try this, but I would need to go to bed between 9 and 10pm every night, and I don't know if I can do that. Let's see ... waking up at 5am ... going to sleep at 9pm ... next thing you know, I will be eating dinner at 4pm. (Actually, I have already done this.) Might as well skip the next 30 years and go straight to Sunrise Senior Living right now :-). Anyway, I have been waking up with back and neck aches consistentlly since I have stopped working out regularly. I am sure this is a function of both not working out and sitting in front of a computer monitor all day hunched over. I get up for occasional breaks, but in all honesty, this type of "sitting in front of a computer" and the type I did at my old job are completely different. Regardless, I need to get back into some routine or else physically, I won't make it.

4. I am constantly thinking about trading strategies. I wake up, and I picture trading setups with candlestick charts. I picture correlations between different indicators and oscillators. I am constantly looking for a solution or stategy I am comfortable with. I have been reading a lot of different books about trading, and would rather spend my time doing that than pretty much anything else. This is defintely characteristic of my OCD behavior, but I just feel like I will be wasting my time trading until I find something. My coach definitely agreed with me. He said it took him longer than normal to become profitable because he didn't stick with a strategy. He also mentioned that is another reason why people fail as traders. They try many different things, but never give any of them enough time and attention to really be successful. This weekend, I am going to purchase a piece of software which will help me formulate a system I am comfortable with. The software is $150, a price I really can't afford right now, but I figure if it will help me become more comfortable and profitable quicker, it will be well worth the money spent. In all honesty, I am really working much harder at becoming a good trader than I did at my previous job for the last couple of years. That is sad, but when I only have myself to rely on, I will never give "lack of effort" as an excuse.

5. The profit potential is truly off the charts. This past week, the top trader in the firm netted (that is, took home) $28,000. In one week! Multiply that by 52 ... heck just 26, and that is what is possible. If I could ever reach 1/5 of that I would consider myself blessed. I definitely have a long way to go before that though. This job is everything that I have been looking for, now it is up to me to execute.

I hope this gives everyone a little idea of what my new life is like. Stay tuned as the weeks progress to see what happens next!

Still Learnin'

I haven't posted the last couple of days. I know ... I am slacking. Truth is, I have been spending my time reading and relaxing in the evenings. Let me do a quick recap of the past 3 days though.

Monday: This was the last day I spent with my instructor and my performance was horrible yet again. I did not have a single winner and extended my losing streak to 17 straight trades! 17 in a row! A monkey could have done better than me. I was pretty devastated and was really second guessing myself. I knew the streak wouldn't last forever, but I didn't really know what I was doing wrong. I reviewed my trades and realized I was just trading to trade and that is never going to be good. But, they keep saying to trade at least 50 times during the day (25 entries/25 exits), so I don't know what to do.

Tuesday: This was my first day out on the trading floor with all the other traders. Up until this point, I had been with all the other rookies in the training room. I was now with the big boys, and it was an eye opener! I could not believe how fast the experienced traders were. It was 5 minutes into the opening and my coach was already in 10 positions! Still shocked from my losing streak, I think I entered my first trade about an hour and a half after the opening - when things had slowed down a bit. I think I lost 2 or 3 times more to extend my streak. My coach encouraged me to trade more at noon, but I was still cautious. I was down $40 or so at that time. Still cautious, I only made two trades that afternoon but both were winners for a total of $140! Again, ironically, one of the two stocks was the former company I had worked for. I guess it is still being good to me even in my absence. Ironically, too, I made the money on a short sale of the stock. (For those of you who don't know, that means I was betting on the stock going down :-). Anyway, I left yesterday with a gain of over $100, so I was happy.

Wednesday: I will have to talk about today in another post as I have to run an errand.

Be back soon!

Week 2 summary

Once again, I have been slacking off from posting here. Now, here it is 12:30am on Saturday morning, and I can't seem to sleep, so I figured I would make some good use of my time.

The past two days of trading have kinda, well ... sucked. I was down about $50 net yesterday. That wasn't so bad, but I only traded 4 or 5 times and got in on the wrong side of nearly all the trades. Today was even worse. I got in a total of 8 trades and every single one of them was a loser. I ended up net down $100. You would think that the law of averages would have me at 50% winning, but that is not the case. Far from it! I keep being reminded that this is part of the normal learning process. "Tuition" as my instructor calls it. Well, I call it crap!

Here's the deal, though. Shortly after lunch today, I decided to give up on trading for the rest of the day and observe the market. I wanted to look at a bunch of charts and study some technical indicators and see if I could begin to derive any correlations. My instructor was telling me I needed to be trading more, but I continue to feel like a chicken with it's head cut off. I don't really have a method for farming trades, I have no trading system, and it is driving me nuts! I wanted to spend some time researching something I could use to gain an advantage. And I think I found something!!!!

One of the cool things about working for this company is they have a full time IT staff on site that help with not only software development, support, etc., but on building something they call "tickers". Tickers will show a trader stocks that meet his or her specific entry/exit criteria for a particular trade. Currently, the company has over 600 public tickers to help traders farm trades. They also have 200 private tickers that individual traders have developed with the IT staff, but have not made available to all other traders. While examining many charts for the past couple of days, I think I have come up with a very simple ticker that will help me tremendously. In fact, from my best guess, it looked like it was about 70% successful on the charts I saw. I am anxious to get back to work on Monday and work with the guy who codes the tickers (he was out today). I will definitely update the blog with further developments regarding this.

Honestly, I have always thought my analytical skills have been my strong suit. I like to solve problems by looking at all possible resources to solve the problem, and then methodically derive something that is going to be the best. I realize with the trading profession this may take a long time, but I really and truly believe that I can come up with some type of system that can give me an advantage. I am sure that a lot of people smarter than myself have tried this and failed, so I will have to work hard and, by all means, never give up! Regardless, knowing that I have some type of system in place that I have back tested even minimally will help give me more confidence than shooting in the dark. If not, well, I guess i can always go back to my plan from several days ago .... always do the opposite thing of what I initially want to do! That would have made me some good money today.

Actually, two positive things from the past couple of days:
1. My money management is very good. I don't let trades get out of hand and I hold true to my stops. I have yet to let a trade go past my stop point. I am very disciplined in that regard and feel that I will be 99 times out of 100. Everyone says this is a very necessary quality.
2. Every single one of my trades would have been a winner today had I let them ride until the end of the day. I am becoming more and more assured that I need to be a position trader and not worry about the ups and downs of the intraday market. Although with my new "ticker" system, I think I will have a greater chance of being successful with some of the intraday swings.

So, that was basically it. I still love the job. I like the people who are there. I like the type of work. I love the challenge that is in front of me. And ... quite frankly ... that is one of the reasons I can't go to sleep... my mind is too busy searching for solutions. My instructor warned me about this :-). Tylenol PM may come to be my friend in the coming months. Let's hope not.

Show me the money!! (not quite)

Today was the first day I got to trade live with real money. I was a little disappointed in myself. I didn't trade as much as I should have. I noticed at least a half dozen trade opportunities I should have entered but I second-guessed myself. As far as I can remember about 5 out of the 6 would have worked out positively for me. I need to lose the fear and remember that this isn't my money and this is part of my tuition, so to speak.

Also, I need to figure out a better system to trade. If I had stuck with the position trading, I would have made a killing. However, I was in front of the computer all day long monitoring every single tick, so I got shaken out of a few trades that really would have been profitable in the longer term. I need to figure out a way to trust my intuition more. I am going to spend tonight trying to refine my entry and exit signals a little better. I will try and hold to these signals and see how I do. Discipline. Today I felt like I was shooting in the dark half of the time.

I think the most ironical thing about today was the stock that made me the most money ... the stock of the company I used to work for. I traded the stock 4 times today and each time was a winner. I don't know if it was beginner's luck or God's way of telling me something, but whatever it is ... I'll take it!

For those of you wondering, I ended up the day down $15. Not too bad since I actually profited around $400 and lost $415. Honestly, I would have gladly taken more losses if I had just traded more. At this point, trading = learning.

Back to the drawing board

I know .. I know ... where is the rest of my story? It will have to wait. I don't have the ambition to finish it, but one of these days I will get around to it. I promise. Until then, you will just have to hear about another day at my new job.

Actually, it was a little boring today. The instructor for our group is out of town, so we were kind of left on our own. A few people came in to talk to us about commissions, software architecture, and other things. They were pretty boring. We mainly got to spend a lot of time trading today (still our fake account).

I had my shirt taken from me in the morning. I try to use technical analysis on 3 minute charts and I am getting slaughtered. I was down about $200 within the first 30 minutes of trading. Thank goodness this is still trading on a fake account. I think tomorrow I am going to try two things. One, I am going to change the 3 minute charts to 1 minute charts and see if I can do any better. Things just happen so fast at the open, I can't keep up. I am like a deer in the headlights. I know I will get better with that over time. The other thing I am thinking about is just making the exact opposite play as what my intuition is telling me. Obviously, if I am losing that much that fast, I am doing something seriously wrong. So whenever I think I should buy, I should just try the exact opposite approach. That is going to take some mind training to do, but I will see if I can do it. Actually, I should only try one of the two approaches tomorrow and see if that works rather than trying two different things and having the combination still not work.

I talked a little more with my coach. He had a very good trading day today. He was up over $5K at the end of the day. That is great because I know he was net negative all of last week. This whole trading thing is kind of crazy -the fact that you can ride a rollercoaster like that. It will probably shave years off my life, but I once again, I am willing to see if, in fact, I may experience less stress than my previous job. I have said this all along ... at least I am in control. I pull the trigger for the buy or the sell and I only have myself to blame for failure. Meanwhile I have a lot of traders there to teach me and give me guidance. This is a lot different than having to report the same status to 4 different people (as mentioned in a friend's/former co-worker's blog). I truly feel like even though I am not successful at trading now, I am learning things that will help me and make me better, and that is something I have not felt on a regular basis for a long time. I love it.

Oh, by the way, in afternoon trading, I gained back $150 fake dollars to only be down $50 net on the day. Not too bad I suppose. Now if only I can get the 10 o'clock bulls figured out.

Summary: Week 1

It has been a few days since my last post. I apologize. I have been a little busy and then I chose to relax yesterday and watch some basketball. By the way, next weekend is one of my favorite times of the year ... March Madness. In years passed, I loved taking some time off on Thursday and Friday, going to a sports bar that has all 4 regional feeds for the NCAA tournament, and soaking it all in. I don't think I will be able to do it this year, but something tells me there are going to be a few TVs turned on the trading floor turned to CBS during the day.

So ... what happened the rest of the week? On Thursday, we got to trade live (w/ a fake account) and try out some of the scalping techniques that were taught to us during the week. Needless to say, I was awful. I guess that is why they say to give yourself 6 to 9 months. Within the span of an hour or so, trading 100 share lots and no more, I was down an imaginary $400 bucks. That is not very good at all. I guess that is why they start everyone off at the beginning trading no more than 100 shares at a time with very limited capital. Of course you can't make big money only trading 100 shares at a time, but it is all about staying in the game. More money = more power = more potential for damage. If you dig yourself a big hole from the start, psychologically you are doomed.

I have been studying Technical Analysis for some time, so in the afternoon, I asked the instructor if I could trade "my way". I wanted to hold each trade for longer than the scalping techniques were requiring. I wanted to see if I could read the charts and pick proper entry and exit points. The instructor chuckled at me and said "OK". In the afternoon, I was up $300 bucks and didn't pick a single loser: 6 for 6. I realized at that point, my trading style, at least in the beginning, should be more position trading than scalping. I just felt more comfortable with it. Each position I got in had a drawdown of $30, but I felt comfortable with it, and each one came back and did really well by the end of the day. I definitely need to learn scalping, but I think I am going to practice it during the "down" time from position trading.

As a result of Thursday afternoon, management decided to change who my coach was going to be. They switched me from someone who is primarily a scalper to someone who is primarily a position trader. I was able to talk with him and really felt like I was able to connect. We had quite a bit in common, so hopefully this will help pay off as well. The guy is definitely not the top trader in the firm, but he makes a very nice living, and when he described his trading techniques to me, I just felt comfortable. He did mention that he expects me to trade at least 5000 shares a day in the beginning, so I am going to have to trade a little bit shorter term than what I am used to. Regardless, this is all part of the learning experience and this will be a very exciting next few months.

On Friday, we didn't really get to trade at all. We studied for and then took a test. Yes .. another test! This one required us to describe the different scalping techniques as well as most of the functions of the software. We also had to memorize the different stock sectors and at least 5 stock symbols in each sector. I didn't study enough during the week for the test, so I bombed it. We have to make 100% on it before they fund our account with real money, so several of us are having to retake it again next week. The only person who made a 100% was one of the firm's former software engineers who is switching over from programming to trading. He has been around this stuff for 4 years and already knows it all. The rest of us .. we just didn't have a chance unless we went home and studied for 4 hours each evening. I didn't have time to do that. I think they give this test on purpose to get you used to earlier failure.

One of the very interesting sub-plots of my whole story involves another new trader in my "orientation" class. He is actually a former floor trader from the Chicago Board of Options Exchange. The guy is an absolute wizard at options and options strategies. On Friday afternoon, he began to describe to me the "real" thinking about how options are used as an investing strategy. He described to me the Black-Scholes and Cox-Ross-Rubenstein models of option pricing. He also talked to me about Delta and Volatility and what an option actually represents in relation to these two variables. It was like I was at an Options training class where I was the only student. I was asking a bunch of questions and really learning about ... well .. everything I had wanted to know about with options. The more we began talking the more he actually wanted to enlist my help. He doesn't know much about higher mathematics or computer programming, but he knows how things work in the options market. He knows there are relationships between the price of options, the price of the underlying stock and certain economic conditions, but doesn't have a good idea about how to represent it in terms of building a trading system. He asked me if I was interested, in my spare time, working with him to build a lot of his ideas in a trading system. Something that is black box - does all the buying and selling automatically. I actually told him that is what I have been dying to do the past several years - combine my math expertise with my computer skills and my interest in the markets to try to come up with something exactly as he has described. He was excited and said we were in business, so hopefully next week in the evenings we can get together and I can learn more.

All in all, this was a good week. I didn't make a dime, but I had a lot of fun and the potential for more is definitely there. I feel like one way or another a lot of my strengths are finally going to be put to good use, and that is exciting for me. The main person I am going to have to compete with and control is myself, and I am ready for the challenge.

Day three ...

More learning today, but there were a few exciting events.

First off, I think I almost got let go today. Yep ... three days on the job ... and adios! Actually, it was a misunderstanding. I was talking with the instructor on Monday and told him I met a person that had worked at the trading company, but was no longer there. This person now works for a competing day trading firm in the same city. Well, somehow, this got back to the CEO that this person I met once was a personal friend of mine that referred me to the company I am working for in order to get my training. Then, once I was successfully trained, I would jump ship and go to the company he works for.

I understand the paranoia, and I can also appreciate the fact they talked to me right away rather than assuming something and not saying a thing. After all, they are footing my "education bill" so to speak and are not only making a financial investment in me, but a huge time commitment as well. Truth is, I have no ties to the guy at all. He is a friend of one of my wife's friends. I merely answered a question from my instructor: "Do you know anyone that works here at XYZ trading company?" I said: "No, but I met someone who used to." All of a sudden now, me and this guy are best buds. I think the deal is this: the competing company does not really have a training regiment for new traders. The company I am working for has taken great pride in developing new traders. The competing company lures the successful traders away from my company with cheaper commissions and higher percentages of profits. Bad blood has developed. Regardless, I am little miffed at my instructor for not asking me to clarify my relationship with that person before he brought it forward. This situation could have been avoided. But, I'm the new guy, and honestly, I respect the way they handled the situation. It seems like I haven't been getting upset as easily lately either, and that is a good thing.

Second thing. although I did not make a dime today (as I am still in training), today was the firm's most profitable day of the year. As a reward, management bought several cases of beer and bottles of liquor for everyone to enjoy after the markets closed for the day. On average, each trader netted $3K today after commissions. Of course, the newbies don't make nearly as much, but there may be hope for me after all with this profession :-).

For those of you waiting for the "rest of the story", I am going to try and blog that this weekend. I haven't forgotten, but there are some other things I am having to read through and do for work in the evenings. Oh ... and there is also American Idol ... I'm addicted.

Day two ...

Again .. nothing too exciting.

I learned about a few of the different strategies the trading company teaches in order to make money. In the coming days, I am going to have to decide whether I want to trade as a scalper or as a position trader.

A scalper is someone who is in a trade any where from 15 seconds to 15 minutes. They are able to discover imbalances and capitalize on them in the short term. From hearing the instructor speak about this, the majority of the traders at the company are scalpers. There is relatively little risk involved and you can do it all day long. Get in ... get out ... get in ... get out. For those people who are very risk averse, this is the type of trading they perform. It is mainly speed in pattern recognition and execution of the trade.

A position trader is one who looks at intraday technical charts, looks for support and resistance on the charts, and trades accordingly. A position trader will have anywhere from 30 to 70 open positions at a time and will have to stomach through some very difficult situation when a trade goes against him/her. A postion trader always has to allow for a little wiggle room, so there is a lot more subjectivity in decisions than with a scalper.

Honestly, I haven't decided yet which way I am leaning. I think I would enjoy the position trading more, but initially, I think I would be more successful as a scalper. Regardless, I will have time to try both "styles" out and see which will work the best for me.

I got to paper trade using the software and a fake account the last hour today as well. I ended up down about $60, but two of those trades I pressed the wrong button and shorted the stock instead of buying long (or vice versa). Doh! I held onto both of them just to see what would have happened. Both went against me pretty hard right from the start. All in all, it was pretty fun and it was great to learn the software by using it. I made sure I used as many of the different features of the software as they taught the past two days in class, as well. I still have a loooong ways to go! Like the instructor says, it is like being told to fly a 747 with barely any training. I definitely feel that way at times, and time is the only thing that can help with that.

The First Day

So ... I bet you all are wondering how the first day went.

All in all, pretty uneventful. Today was mainly spent learning the trading platform software and going through a bunch of logistical paperwork. Don't get me wrong I learned a lot, just nothing very interesting.

I learned that I am going to be spending at least twice as much in gas since the drive to the trading company is twice the distance as the technology company from my house.

I learned that the new target time for profitability is 9 months to 1 year as opposed to 6 to 9 months as I previously thought. Whatever the timeframe, I am just going to have to suck it up and find a way to be successful. I was told today, this job is the best job possible a person could have, if you can weather the storm of the learning curve.

The other thing they stressed today was getting a second job while you are going through the learning curve. Right now, I have savings which I was planning on using, but I am now seriously considering getting a second job in the evenings, so I don't feel like I am completely blowing through my savings. I also have tons of childhood collectibles which I am planning on auctioning off on eBay to help supplement. They aren't doing anything but taking up space and collecting dust. (BTW, has anyone checked out the software iSale for the Mac. Pretty cool stuff.) Whatever, I can do to be successful, I have to do it. So ... if anyone knows of a cool evening job ... I am all ears.

Lastly, I was asked several times today, why do you want to trade? Don't you know the failure statistics? Are you doing it to get rich? My answer is I am trying to find something that I will enjoy that allows me to control my own future. If I had one knock about the technology company and Corporate America it would be that my life, my career, was completely in the hands of another person. I could be a complete hero at work, but if my manager didn't think so, I was doomed. The reverse is also true. I could be a slacker, but if the boss liked me, I was golden. At least with this new job, there is a clear definition of success and failure on a daily basis, and I am in complete control. If I don't perfrom how I want, I have one person to look at ... ME! I have to make a change and take care of business ... and honestly, I am looking forward to the challenge.

It seems like I have been bashing my old employer so far in this blog, but that is not the case at all. I had several great managers there who really encouraged me to be a leader and make the most of myself. I will be forever thankful of their influence on me. It was extremely unfortunate that I did not spend more time with them as I am sure they would have led me to bigger and better things within the company. But things are what they are ... and like my former colleague said, "Don't look back." I will say this, though. Last week, my very last manager left me with an interesting quote she recalled from some of her management training. She said, "People JOIN companies, but they LEAVE managers." How true. I can't say I would have left had I not been "under the influence" of the manager I have spoken about in recent posts. Which reminds me, I still need to finish my story ... sigh ... maybe tomorrow.

OK ... so I have to admit ... one of the other reasons I left to pursue this new career was the possiblilty of increased income. I won't lie. But honestly, it was not my primary reason for leaving. My theory of chasing riches is the same one I have of finding a girlfriend or wife: the harder you look for it/one, the less likely you are to actually find one/it. So, here I am, about ready to have to work hard, have some fun, learn a lot about myself and my life, and I can't wait to go back tomorrow. Yippee!

The Last Straw

After passing the Series 7, I swung by the trading company and picked up the study material for the Series 55 and Series 63. While there, I was warned about how difficult and tricky the Series 55 was. The company had new traders who had recently passed the exam give me advice and study pointers. This one was going to be difficult! Only 100 question and 4 hours, but the amount of material covered was going to be insane. More studying ... and more patience from my wife as I buried myself in the study material for the next 3 weeks. Next test date - January 28th.

Meanwhile, back at the technology company, an interesting turn of events was taking place. The week I passed the Series 7, an email was distributed to all employees in my division. This email was announcing referral bonuses to any employee who referred someone outside of the company that eventually was hired for a "hot job" within the company. There were 4 hot jobs listed in the email, and when I saw two of them, I was shocked!!

I believe I forgot to mention a meeting I initiated with my (bad) manager shortly after the reorganization was announced (late November, early December). In fact, I had this meeting right around the time I was deciding to accept the position with the trading company. I wanted to see how the (bad) manager would respond to some questions I asked him. Basically, I recalled to him our conversation about my career goals back in September (the one about technical sales or solutions architect). I told him that although he had moved me into my new job, I was still interested in working towards those positions. Again, I asked him if he could provide me guidance and assistance with working towards this goal. I also asked if he knew of any such positions available. His response was something like this:
"David, I think you would function great in something like that. However, you will need to speak with your new manager regarding switching jobs. I will be sure to keep my eyes and ears open for jobs that fit your description, but just to let you know, those types of jobs can be relatively hard to obtain and I don't really even know if there are any like those available for you. But thanks for talking to me and I will be on the lookout for you."
OK ... so this was somewhat promising, but somewhat B.S. I was going to take it for what it was worth, and at least I was proactive about trying to work towards what I wanted.

So, back to the "hot jobs" email. Two out of the Four .... you guessed it ... technical sales and solutions architect!! Like I said, I was floored! Here I was trying to move into this type of position and was being told it was going to be pretty difficult and not to get my hopes up. However, the company was so desperate for these skills they were aggressively pursuing people outside of the company. After seeing this, I was going to make a point to "call" my (bad) manager on this. My opporunity would be my end-of-year review with him in mid-January.

The conversation went something like this:
"So this past year, David, you did very well. Blah Blah Blah. I rated you outstanding. Blah Blah Blah. I know you will be a great contributor in your new position. Do you have anything you would like to say to me before we close this review?"
"Actually, I would. I have to say I was extremely disappointed recently. We discussed my career goals as far back as September and I expressed interest into moving into a different position. I had initiated another meeting in early December with you where I asked for your assistance and guidance in helping me achieve these goals. You told me you would help me out. I hope you understand when I say I was shocked when I received the "hot jobs" email and saw that two of the four were jobs I had discussed with you. And I have heard nothing from you. Not only that, I felt discouraged to pursue these positions since you said they tend ot be very sparse."
"Wow, David. I had no idea. I don't even remember the email. I am sorry that you feel this way. But just hang in there and don't give up hope."

You have got to be kidding me!
Four months of proactive communication with you, telling you what I want, hearing you tell me you will help me, and gving me a crap response of "don't give up hope"?
You mean to tell me that is what my career is now resting on ... hope?
I DON'T THINK SO!!!

And that was it ... that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I was going to do whatever it took to pass the last two exams. I was determined.
Screw "hope" ... I was in control!

Next post ... the last two exams and the two weeks notice.

P.S. - So it doesn't look like I will finish my story before I begin my new job tomorrow. Just hang in there though. It will be finished very shortly.

One down ....

On the eve of starting my new job, I need to finish up my story of how I got here. I don't know if I will finish tonight, but I am going to give it a shot.

I left my last post having accepted the position with the trading company. However, actually being a day trader was still far from being set in stone. In order to work for the company, I now had to take and pass three NASD exams. For those of you who are unfamiliar, NASD is the National Assocation of Securities Dealers. Two of the exams, the Series 7 and the Series 63, are the same exams that stock brokers have to take in order to be licensed. The third test, the Series 55, is an exam specially geared toward day traders. By passing all of these exams, the NASD feels you are better qualified to trade and allows you to trade on 10:1 margin. (Don't quote me on that last statement.)

The trading company is very strict in terms of performance on the exams. While the NASD will allow you to take the exam as many times as needed in order to pass, the trading company will only allow you to fail each of the exams once. If you did not pass any of the exams a second time, the company would not hire you. Of course, this left me in a very delicate situation with my old employer. Having switched departments and jobs with the technology company, I was now being asked to learn something completely new on an accelerated schedule. At the same time, I was having to master the NASD material for the exams. Needless to say, there were times in the months of December and January where my brain was full. Also, I couldn't broadcast my new opportunity to everyone since if I happened to fail any of the exams twice, I would be disqualified from working there and would still need my original job.

The amount of time necessary to take and pass all the NASD exams is anywhere between 8 to 12 weeks. I won't lie and say the tests were a piece of cake. I studied my butt off for them especially since I didn't have any formal finance training in college. A lot of the material was new to me on all of the exams, but it was very learnable. So any of you thinking about doing this, it is possible, but be prepared to put some time into studying (especially for the Series 55).

On November 29th, I received my study material for the Series 7 and away I went. I spent a lot of time studying for this exam. It was by far the longest at 6+ hours and 250+ questions. I spent all my spare time (and then some) studying over Christmas vacation. In fact, I couldn't really enjoy Christmas time this past year as much as I normally do. I really have to thank my wife for being so understanding during this time. I know I was probably a little overboard on the studying, but I wanted to be prepared and make sure I was giving 100% effort. I was so focused on being ready for this test, and nothing was going to stop me. I used the Dearborn study materials and took numerous practice tests. Finally on January 4th, I took the exam.

The exam is administered in two 3+-hour sections. Each section has 125+ questions. The first half was killer. I remember calling my wife after the first section being totally depressed. The study material just didn't prepare me adequately enough. I thought I was going down in flames. She told me to "get a grip" and "calm down" and "fight through it" ... all the things I needed to hear. I went in to the 2nd section with a better attitude and felt much better about it upon completion. Now came the tough part ... waiting for the immediate test results.

Let me tell you ... nothing is a bigger rush than pressing the button on the test that says "Press here to see your exam results." I had just poured the last 5 weeks of my life into studying for this exam .. I had to pass. I was ready for defeat based on the first section alone, but was hoping for the best. The score popped up ... 88%. Since 70% is passing and anything higher doesn't really matter, some people would say I overstudied. I felt slightly lucky, but at least I had one test down .. the longest one.

Next post ... the trickiest exam - the Series 55 .. and the last straw with the (bad) manager

Decision Made, but ...

For those of you still intereted in my transition story, please let me continue.

I showed up at the trading company on that Wednesday with a positive attitude, but I also was ready to be honest with myself. I wanted answers to the questions about whether I could work in that environment all day long and if I honestly had a chance to be successful.

I was introduded to a guy name David and right off the bat, I had a great feeling. David is a "master trader" at the trading company. He has been with the company for 2 1/2 years and has experienced considerable success. He is now a teacher who accepts new people coming in and teaches them what he has learned. I was expecting someone successful like this to be high-strung and on edge and not really wanting to spend the time to talk to someone like me. What I got was the complete opposite. David is the epitome of "cool" and you would never know the guy had a stressful job at all. After talking, we discovered that we had many similarities, including age. I asked him all types of questions regarding stress, the ability to learn their trading systems, psychological mentality, the ability to succeed, and his enjoyment of the work. One thing he said stood out above all others. He said, "I truly believe with the right attitude and effort, anybody can be successful doing this. Give yourself time and you can do it!" He was extremely positive and extremely calm. I want to be like that! My visit with him truly sold me on going for it. David took a risk on being a trader as well when he had graduated from Business School (with tens of thousands of dollars in student loans), and he said it was the best risk he had ever taken. That was it ... I had to do it!

I spent Thanksgiving weekend confirming my feelings and sharing them with my wife and family. I sat down and crunched numbers for finances and seeing if I had enough savings to make it through the 6 to 9 month learning curve period. I weighed the options between going for it or staying with my current job for a little while longer. I spent A LOT of time figuring out whether this was going to be the right thing to do. And when Sunday evening came, I had made up my mind ... I was going for it.

First thing Monday morning I called the trading company and talked to the HR manager. I told her I wanted to be proactive about the situation and said I was 100% ready to accept a position if offered to me. She was a little blown away by that comment since I had shown hesitancy the last time she spoke with me. She told me that she needed to speak with David and the Finance Director again, but she would try to get back to me by the end of the day. I felt good about telling her where I stood, but now a waiting game ensued. Minutes and hours went by and no call. Finally, late on Monday, November 28th, I received the call and was offered a position. I accepted. I was emailed a copy of the employment agreement which I printed out, signed, and returned to the company the next day.

However, my work was just now beginning. More on this in the next post ....

And that was all she wrote ....

Yesterday was a busy day, but that was it ... my last day on the job.

No more badge.
No more keys.
No more corporate credit cards.
No more laptop.
No more regular paycheck.

I will miss the people who I have built relationships with (and the regular paycheck), but I don't think I will miss the work. I enjoyed the work I did at times, but just couldn't see myself continuing in my current assignment for as long as management anticipated.

I transferred all my work assets to the lab manager. I zeroed out the hard drive on my laptop. I took one last stroll around the office floor. I crept through the lab area I called "home" at times. I said my "Goodbyes" to people. I had my exit interview, and afterwards, was escorted out of the building by management. And that was it!

Last evening, after work, my wife and I hosted a little going away party for myself at a local pub. I appreciate everyone who attended and had a great time. I really hope everyone stays in touch, but I know what happens ... out of sight, out of mind. Regardless, I am very grateful for the opportunities that were given to me the past 5 years and will definitely remember this time in my life.

However, a former colleague gave me some advice this past week during lunch and it struck home with me: "Don't look back". So, this is it. Oh wait ... I have to finish the rest of my story. OK .. I am going to be aggressive about doing that this weekend and then, I won't look back. (A promise to myself.)

The Call Back

I left off my story having just told the trading company that I was basically second guessing myself and needed to shadow someone to see if this was really for me.

A couple of days went by before I received a call.
"Hello David, this is ???? with ????. I just wanted to see if November 23rd would work for you to come in and talk with one of our traders."
"Sure. Thank you so much for calling back. Let me check my calendar .... yep the morning of the 23rd would work great for me."
"Sounds great. We will see you then."

I was so relieved they had called me back. Especially since there were rumors flying at work about the department I was currently in being dissolved and everyone being scattered to other departments around the company. Actually, between the time I received the call above and November 23rd, an announcement was made that confirmed the rumors and my worst nightmare came true. Me and one other person from my department were being transferred away from the rest of our team onto a project that couldn't have been less interesting. It fact, it down right sucked. And, basically, I had one person to thank for the move: you guessed it, the (bad) manager.

He had the nerve to tell me that since I was one of the most skilled and adaptable people in the former departement that he felt I would do well in this new position. Hello??? One, thanks for talking to me about this in advance. Two, thanks for listening to me all the way back in September when I told you what I was interested in doing. Three, don't patronize me with the complements when I know they aren't entirely true and you don't really mean them. Four, kiss my ass!

Needless to say, I was going into this "shadowing" experience at the trading company with a whole different attitude. I was going to be honest with myself, but I was also anxious to make this a positive experience as well. I just wanted a good excuse to leave my old job, and thankful for me, I found it!

... next up ... a day at the trading company

salvage update

An update with my Mac situation:
The last scavenge attempt did not work. It finished up at around 6pm, I hooked up the new external drive, and started salvaging what I could. I transfered about a dozen files when a warning popped up that the temporary partition I was using with the data recovery software had run out of space. It wasn't long after that, the spinning beach ball appeared and the "application was not responding."

So, I was faced with reality. I could either try and erase more items from the temporary partition and go perform another 4 hour pass, or I could just cut my losses and just reinstall the OS. After about 10 minutes of deliberation, I said "What the $#@%" and decided to do a complete reinstall.
Great decision!
After everything was installed I looked at what I had salvaged and what I had left over from the August backup, and I have most everything I need. The only thing I really lost were MP3s, and in the big scheme of things, those are nothing. So I spent most of last night restoring my new OS install to its former state. In a lot of ways, this is better. I don't have as many applications installed and have a lot more space on my hard drive now. Also, I think I am going to try to return the external drive I purchased yesterday as I really have no need for it.

All in all, a relatively happy ending. I am sure as the weeks and months progress I will stumble across things that aren't present that I will need, but I can get them back. I think the more a person is in these types of situations, the more adaptable they become. And, at the end of the day, all of this stuff ... well ... it just doesn't matter as much as the personal relationships a person builds and maintains on a daily basis.

I'll be back this afternoon with so more of my story.